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04 August 2010 @ 06:00 pm
I Am Worth Only This Much To You  
I wanted to kind of... get this off my chest before I leave in seven days.

I'd been trying really hard to make plans with some of my friends before I leave, and I got ignored by a large majority of them. I was flat-out ignored. Did you know? But those people had the gall to contact me about hanging out when I come back. There were others who even thought it was okay to guilt me into feeling like absolute shit for leaving the country. As if my life revolves around being here for their sake!

I think that's a little bit unfair, don't you? I can't believe some of you were cruel enough to make it seem like the world would end for you if I left, and then not even bother to come over and visit. Only ONE PERSON that I'd tried to make plans with was able to hang out with me.


So in that case, I suppose I know how much I am worth to my local friends. I am only worthy of their friendship when it's convenient for them, it seems. It's fake. So very fake. And I'm not interested in that anymore.

So guess what.

These "friends" can simply forget about me coming back from Canada anytime soon. I haven't made any sort of plans at all for my return trip and I honestly don't have to. At this point, I have told my parents that if they want me to return home so damned badly, they are more than welcome to pay for my plane ticket. Otherwise, I'll be there with whatever I need to survive and that's that.

A lot of people have asked me why I'm leaving, and I've only ever told you idiots HALF of that reason. While Brittany is important to me, and I'd LOVE to introduce her to my friends -- I really would -- but at this point I think being someplace far, far away from everybody I already know is the smarter option. Why on earth would I want to bring her with me to meet any of them if they continue to treat me like this!?

How did that ridiculous notion translate as "OKAY" in their empty heads?? I'm baffled by the level of ignorance I've seen in the last few weeks since Anime Expo. And I have only been able to hang out with a grand total of three people since then. Maybe this just shows who my REAL friends are, I dunno.

I don't even know if I hate my local friends or if I'm just really hurt by how shitty the lot of them make me feel, but to be honest, I don't really think this can be considered "friendship" anymore. Besides, if I move away it's not like it'll affect you too much. We don't even see each other outside of con anyway!

In short, my reason for leaving California is plain and simple:

I hate everybody here.
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Another Dumb Blond by Hoku